Must Be Morning Sickness!!!! *winks*

Yesterday I wasn’t feeling great. By 2nd period I could only stand for a few minutes at a time without dizziness and then I held off my nausea long enough to puke on my prep period. More than one teacher chimed in with the “Sounds like MooOoOOOOrnInG SiiiiiiiCknEsS!!!”

I wanted to answer with a long list of disgusting TMI things to shut them up:

“Oh actually, that’s impossible because I’m currently menstruating more heavily than you ever have or ever will menstruate.”

“Yeah, it’s actually the half bowl of cookie dough and giant burrito I ate at 9 pm last night because I’m an adult.”

“Wow Miller Light isn’t that Light on the way back up, amirite?!” 

“Jokes on you – I have one of those science fiction birth control plastic rods IN MY ARM. Come here. Feel it. FEEL IT.”

{3 out of 4 are true. I’ll let you decide which.}

Instead, I responded with a demure “Oh I don’t think so. Must be something I ate.” I really don’t mind too much, and these are my friends. I am not and do not get personally offended when people ask me, as long as you don’t say it in front of my baby-hungry family members (now firing from both sides of the family). However, I was left again wondering why anyone thinks its ok to ask/hint/assume pregnancy about anyone. Especially in Utah.

I came up with a helpful reference list of reasons why you shouldn’t ever ask, hint or joke about pregnancy:

  1. It’s none of your damn business. 
  2. See #1
  3. SOOOOOO many couples (including several of my close friends) struggle with infertility and when you say “So when are you gonna give us some cute little ones?!” or “Man you guys better get on that!” to them OR to anyone in their presence,  you are emotionally stabbing them in the heart. They shed countless tears in private, why would you thoughtlessly assume that it’s easy for them and something they should be able to do RIGHT NOW? For the record: we are not trying. Won’t be for a while. But I can tell you if infertility is something we deal with – you better shut your mouth around me because I’ll give you an earful if you ask me about babies and I can’t have them yet. 
  4. See #1
  5. It’s so easy for rumors to get started. “Mrs. Holdaway was throwing up – she must be pregnant.” “Did you hear Mrs. Holdaway’s pregnant?” “Does that mean she’s gonna leave?” “Mrs. Holdaway’s gonna leave!” I certainly don’t want to be treated differently, positively or negatively just because someone THINKS I’m pregnant. Ideally, yeah, employers wouldn’t discriminate against pregnant workers, but I think it does happen sometimes. And when I am pregnant, I don’t want my decision to be dictated by others – maybe I’ll stay, maybe I’ll go. But it’s my decision and I want to make and announce it on my own time. 
  6. Are you my doctor? No, ok. Oh then go ahead and shut up because it’s NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

Sorry I went sailor mode. Apparently I’m passionate about this. I’m protective of my friends dealing with infertility and also a big fan of people staying out of my beeswax.

Please. PLEASE. Just assume people are struggling with fertility and keep your yapper shut. It’s better than having to stick your foot in it. I know you mean well. No one thinks you’re rude or a jerk – just maybe slightly thoughtless. Be careful. Tread lightly. Love everyone. The end.

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4 thoughts on “Must Be Morning Sickness!!!! *winks*”

  • 4 years ago

    Seriously though! People don’t realize that you might be trying your darndest to have kids and can’t. I’m starting to get the questions now… “When are you guys going to have kids?!” “Any buns in the oven yet?” In the words of Danica, it’s none of your damn business.

  • 4 years ago

    Ha ha oh my gosh, I was about to do a rant post on this just last week. Man, I’ve been taking heat for babies lately and I am about ready to punch someone square in the jaw. Thanks for saying what needs to be said, better than I could say it.

  • 4 years ago

    “Oh actually, that’s impossible because I’m currently menstruating more heavily than you ever have or ever will menstruate.” < -- haha I'm going to pretend that you said that because that made me laugh when I read it. I agree with every bit of this. And it’s actually kind of funny, because people are just asking in a round-a-bout way when you and your spouse are going to start having sex in a more “planned out” way ha.. And just for the record, it doesnt even come close to ending once you DO have a baby. People think that once your BABY (still crawling/teething/not even close to sleeping through the night/nursing/keeping you slightly insane yet perfectly content) is around 1, it’s time for you to start popping more out. LEAVE ME AND MY LADY PARTS ALONE!

  • Well said! People are worse once you are pregnant too, just you wait. I can’t wait to see a post from you once you’re pregnant and dealing with all those crazies too! They are always asking about your lady business and touching you and think that all comments are free game. I have been considering writing a post about this, I just think I might now!

What do you think?