(Inspired by the episode of CNN Student News my kids watched today for Newsday Tuesday about a guy who got a letter from himself that he wrote in 9th grade English)

Wow. You made it to 2034? I hope so. I always thought I would die young-ish because I could never picture myself as a little old lady with grandchildren. Hell, I can’t even picture myself with kids & a family!

I guess that’s my first question: Do you have a family? If so, when did you know it was “time”? Did you ever get that baby hunger or twinge of motherhood desire or is that kind of thing made up? Because right now I don’t really have it. Even cute babies can be appreciated, but make me so grateful I don’t have one. Will that change?

Did you keep teaching? You love it so. I’m getting better every day, but still wondering if I’ll be one of those statistical casualties of the first few years of teaching. The pay, the bureaucracy, the mean kids, the psycho parents, the hoops… when did you say “enough is enough!” or have you? Whenever I think about being done with teaching I worry tremendously that I’ll regret it. I’ll feel like I’m giving up on the kids. Giving up on myself. I hope that if and when that day comes I’ll face it with excitement because I know I gave it my best and I have better things ahead.

You’re 44. What’s that like? Did you get fat? Do you have wrinkles? OMG Is your hair going gray?! OMG YOU PROBABLY HAVE MENOPAUSE OR WHATEVER IT IS NOW RIGHT? How are you doing at this whole “aging gracefully” thing? As someone who is a slave of fashion, how do you keep up with the trends? Did you give up and stick to classics?

By the way what are the trends now?

Who is the Prophet? What has the Church done recently? Any changes? Everything the same, probably. I hope I can count on at least the Church to stay the same. I know you’re still active. Hopefully any kids you have are too. And our extended family. That’s the one thing I know I can “see” clearly in my future, even now. The Church and the amazing Gospel of Jesus Christ gives some loose definition to the future fog clouding my head right now.

I just realized if I have a kid within the next two years and he’s a boy you might have a kid on a mission? wuttttttttttt this is making me sick a little bit

What is the Beard doing? You always felt like he’d end up doing something special – in the Church, with music, or with his job. Maybe all three. Is he? I hope he realized his great potential. I hope he isn’t still playing video games. That is the worst. Did he get a whole team of baby boys like he wanted? Or did he do as he always said he’d do with little girls and “send them back”?

I’ve always known I wanted to be in Utah County. As much as people have rolled their eyes or scoffed at that, if there was one part of my future family I could see – it was being in Utah County. Are we still there? What about our families? Did they ever raze the Branbury as it so deserved? Did Provo ever get a Chipotle? Has the Frontrunner ever connected with St. George on a high speed train? Does Nordstrom ever come back to the University Mall? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

You know what else keeps me up at night? You. 44 year old Danica. Am I about to so monumentally screw something up for you? Are you trying to reach back through time to grab me by the shoulders and say “DON’T EAT THAT BURRITO. DON’T BUY THAT CAR. DON’T NAME YOUR CHILD THAT. DON’T MAKE THIS UNIVERSALLY AWFUL MISTAKE YOU’RE ABOUT TO MAKEEEEEE!!!!” Because sometimes it feels like you are. I’m really sorry if I make those choices anyway. Please know I honestly worry about you and try my best to make things good for you.

I wish I could talk to you. More than probably anyone except George Washington. I’d do anything you say. Except maybe give up Diet Coke.

I hope I like you.

And I hope you like me.

I hope we make it.

I hope we’re ok.

Love,

2014 Danica