What a weekend. After months of planning, worrying, planning, and hyping… I was very concerned about it living up to my expectations. Thankfully it ended up being better than I imagined!

Our anniversary is this Friday (July 22nd) and it’s our 5 year! That’s definitely something to be celebrated, right? We tend to not make a big deal of our anniversary – we’ve only celebrated with a trip once. But five years is five years and the timing was right to leave Reese for the very first time, although we didn’t go far. We chose last weekend since our actual anniversary weekend is a holiday weekend (Pioneer Day) and our babysitters would be out of town, not to mention it’s cheaper to do Park City (and anywhere) on a non-holiday weekend.

I will admit the idea seemed a little scary. I’m a stay-at-home/work-from-home mom, so I’m with her basically all of the time. My mom is the world’s ultimate grandma and I knew Reese would have the time of her life. That’s probably what I was most afraid of – that I’d come home and she’d be pissed to see me because it meant the party was over.

Well, she did have the time of her life. She ate mac n cheese, watched lots of Disney Junior with mah-ma and bampa, went to a black belt karate ceremony, the aquarium, and church. Thankfully she was still excited to see me when I walked in the door Sunday afternoon.

Now… this is going to sound awful, but I didn’t miss her as much as I thought I would, and I had a much better time than I expected. I was concerned that something weird would happen to us or her when we were apart, or that me and The Beard would be bored AF without her. This little person has become such a big part of me – maybe there isn’t anything left when you take that away.

Have you guys ever felt like you have to measure up to the emotional connection of other moms? Like when someone expresses how they sobbed when their baby got shots but you’re like “Yeah that was sad? But I didn’t cry? Am I a bad mom? Do I not love my kid as much as they do?” I feel like I’ve seen so many moms say they were miserable to leave their kid or cried all night without them. This left me thinking that A. I wasn’t gonna be able to have fun without her or B. I was a bad mom if I DID have fun without her.

All of that is crap. Those moms aren’t better than me because they feel things more strongly, and they aren’t bad moms because they’re emotional either. Geez it feels like every week I have another battle in the Mommy Wars to overcome. I’m not the mom who cries when her kid gets shots, or can’t have fun on a weekend away from them. And that’s ok! Right?

I’m not saying I didn’t facetime her 6x and watch everyone’s snap stories of her over and over, because I did. She’s just cool and I think everything she does is rad. But it was really, REALLY nice to have a few days without a toddler. I could eat my meals completely uninterrupted. I didn’t have to share my food with anyone. We went to a movie (Ghostbusters – cheesy and dumb but fun!). There was absolutely no strapping into or out of car seats. I walked slowly through every outlet store I wanted. It actually felt like I was sprinting everywhere we went since I wasn’t slowed down by a Reese. I didn’t change a single diaper, pick up anything emptied from a drawer, or fight anyone to take a nap.

It was SO good for me and The Beard. We certainly talked about Reese a lot, but we were also able to have uninterrupted conversations about our future, our jobs, our families, our marriage, and where we want to be in the next five years. I don’t want to say we forgot what it was like to just be married, but I kind of think we did. We don’t take true date nights very often, and when we do we usually are pairing up with other couples or going to some type of event. Having 48 hours with no one else, no plans, no obligations was incredible. We just kept saying how much fun this trip was and how we were so glad we did it. Sometimes you forget about how it was once just you and him falling in love, dying to spend every second together. It’s incredibly romantic to remember and to do just that.

I got dressed, applied makeup, did my hair, wore jewelry (!!!), and dare I say looked like a human being. We ate SO well – Loco Lizard, Leger’s Deli, Butcher’s Chop House (my favorite meal we had… wow), and the brunch at Glitretind at Stein Ericksen Lodge. I did an embarrassing amount of damage at the Tangier Outlets. We also spent some time just hanging on Park City Main Street because it’s cool. And because apparently it had a million Pokestops and Gyms? Idk.

I feel like a new woman, honestly. I came home so excited to see Reese and totally renewed in my mommyhood. I’m recharged, rested, ready. Bon commented on my photo that she’s “all about little pockets of away time” from her toddler, and I can now say I completely agree. I am so so happy that we did this, and it definitely opened up the possibility of us taking future trips away together. Who knows? We may even go as far as St. George next time.