Ah the first trimester. You’re tired, sick, and neurotic… with nothing to show for it, except some chub. Besides the excitement and the treasured knowledge that you’re running errands with a tiny little jelly bean inside you, it’s just kind of blah.

How many days did I put on pants that were too tight and a maternity shirt that was too baggy, hoping TODAY would be the day the bump was real enough to look pregnant and not fat? How many days did I eat a snack before we went to dinner? How many times did I spend the majority of my gym time “stretching” instead of lifting or running? All of them.

That’s the thing about the first trimester. You don’t have the one redeeming glamor of pregnancy: the bump. I don’t want to call it an excuse or a justification, but you just get more of a break when you have a visible bump. You can look tired and people offer to help. You look bloated but they tell you that you’re glowing. You can be a little grumpy or emotional or dingy and people just roll with it. But before that bump arrives it’s easy for everyone, including yourself, to feel like you are actually pregnant. Your body is doing SO MUCH WORK that literally only an ultrasound tech can see. It’s a tough thing to deal with.

I was running some pregnancy post ideas past some pregnant friends and one of them suggested writing about ways I dealt with this fat and tired trimester. Now that I’ve done it twice in two pretty different circumstances I feel like I actually do have a few tips to share.

My Ten Ways for Dealing with First Trimester Fat & Fatigue

First bump pics I took at 9 weeks! Loving my Countdown Tee!

#1 Keep your Closet Happy.

Your closet should be your ally, not your enemy. Monitor it frequently and weed out things as soon as they don’t fit you. This means when you pull out that favorite dress and realize it’s uncomfortable or makes you feel fat – tuck it away somewhere else like a spare closet or a box or drawer out of sight. Trust me. You’re only going to get bigger, and it’s depressing to look at your favorite clothes that you won’t be able to wear for 9+ months. This goes for non-stretchy fabrics only – things that will not accommodate the bump. Stretchy or loose things are sometimes the opposite!

You are changing nearly every day, so try on lots of things every week. That tee that made you look fat when you were just a little bloated will suddenly showcase your bump perfectly when it shows up. Full-panel maternity leggings and jeans sometimes need a certain size of bump to fit and look right.

#2 Buy a Few Maternity Staples

When that day undoubtedly comes where you stand sobbing in your closet because everything is tight and makes you feel fat… THAT’S the day you need a pair of stretchy maternity jeans or leggings. Don’t wait for that day. I tell all of my friends this and I MEAN IT: buying maternity clothing is WORTH IT. Even if you aren’t out of your regular jeans yet, keep an eye on sales or coupons for Old Navy, Target, or other stores, and then go buy some kind of maternity pants that fit your style. I usually buy mine a size larger than my current jean size, and I always go with stretchy/jegging fabrics.

#3 Remember This Isn’t One Long “Cheat Day”

Ugh. I treated my first trimester like a 14 week cheat meal. Let’s be real, I treated my whole pregnancy that way. It’s ok. It didn’t ruin my life or hurt my baby or anything awful. But it also wasn’t healthy for us, and I put on so much extra weight that I then had to haul around and eventually lose. The truth is you really only need more water and a few couple hundred more calories. Should those calories be chocolate cake and cheeseburgers? Probably not.

This time around it helped me to still view certain foods as “treats” or “sometimes” foods. If you know you have a particular craving or weakness that isn’t the healthiest, still try to limit yourself to “cheat” or “treat” days like weekends, special occasions, or when you’ve been especially good. I tend to value them more and treat my food/diet more normally.

The best possible thing is to stay on track is to keep yourself flush with healthy options. Keep a good variety of healthy food and snacks in your fridge for those moments when you REALLY want to eat that whole tub of ice cream. Start with a piece of fruit and then see how you feel. Find a few “healthy” fast food options for those times when you’re like “I NEED FOOD RIGHT NOW AND I DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE IT OR EVEN THINK ABOUT A DECISION JUST FIND ME A CHEESEBURGER!” I love a Zaxby’s salad, Del Taco bowls, fresca items at Taco Bell, and subs with lots of veggies from the Subway drive through near my house. I mean, I know I’m not the picture of health with these, but they’re better than a burger and fries 3x a week.

#4 Fatigue is an Enigma

I’m not sure how this is a tip, but I really do feel it is vital for all pregnant women to understand. Fatigue. Is it real? Yes. Is it predictable? Sometimes. Does it respond to your actions? Not really. Accepting this truth will save you confusion and heartache. You are going to feel tired all the time, and it’s not always going to decrease when you get a good night’s sleep or take a nap.

Sometimes a nap makes you feel better, but a lot of the time it won’t. Listen to your body, because there are times when it truly needs a nap and you should take one. But I fell into the trap of napping nearly every day after school and I would wake up unchanged, but frustrated that I felt fat and tired and unproductive. Alternately, I found that on days I went to the gym, even though I was tired and lame about it, I felt better and had more energy.

#5 Don’t Fight Insomnia

Wait. Why am I tired ALL FREAKING DAY but I wake up at 3 am ready to scrub my bathroom and paint my nails and buy a carseat cover? First trimester, baby. It’s so hard to fight this. Especially when I was teaching and waking up so early, I’d be awake in the middle of the night and just lay there going “Don’t think. Shut up. Go back to sleep. You have to sleep. Sleepsleepsleep. Why aren’t you sleeping.” Which as we know is the most effective way to calm down and fall back asleep eye roll emoji.

This advice sounds crazy, but don’t fight it. When you’re awake, you’re awake. Don’t turn your bed into a place of stress and anxiety and wakefulness! I found it very helpful to do something my brain would perceive as productive. Sometimes Pinterest, but even better was reading something spiritual or about pregnancy. This time around I’ve gotten up and written freelance articles or blog posts. Eventually you’ll feel tired and can return to bed and actually sleep. Or you might just be awake all day. But weirdly (see #4) it doesn’t quite affect you as much as you’d expect. Just try to roll with it. Try to keep it from affecting your mental state or freaking you out.

#6 Disguise with Dark Colors, Accessories, and Loose Cuts

Before the bump is “real” it just looks like bloat or chub, so learning to disguise that is key – even if your pregnancy isn’t a secret. For a while your baggy boyfriend tees may do the trick, but once they graze the belly the boxy cut can actually make you look a lot bigger than you are. That’s a great time to switch to loose cuts and more structured fabrics – like flowy maxi dresses, chambray button downs, starched shirts and blouses, thicker sweaters. Balance them with dark, sleek bottoms. Don’t be afraid to put on some Spanx, either. It won’t hurt your belly or baby. I was so sick of the pudge and my garment line creating a gross lump, so Spanx just slimmed out my spare tire/muffin top under more form fitting clothing or thin fabrics.

You can also disguise your bloat by distracting the eye and posing well for pics. I held Reese in front of me (like above), or cropped from my waist up. In real life you can draw the eye to places other than your midsection and fake a flat tummy – A blouse with ruffles or a detailed collar, bright cardigans or blazers, even tying a plaid around your waist. Dark colors are your best friend right now on your belly. And you’re probably not feeling like it, but just try on a pair of heels and look in the mirror. Yeah. It works.

The morning I wore this outfit I was feeling so doughy. BUT. Black dress + Spanx + Plaid = A cute look that I loved and no one could tell I was pregnant.

#7 Gatorade

I wish I’d known this last time around. During my first trimester I don’t really like or want Diet Coke, and I can only drink so much straight up water. I bounced around from Sprite Zero, to Fresca, to Crystal Light packets. Finally one day I grabbed one of The Beard’s softball Gatorades out of the fridge and sipped it through the afternoon. It cleared up my headache, quenched cravings, and made me feel truly hydrated and healthy. Now I drink several bottles a week and I can definitely tell the difference between days I drink them and days I don’t.

#8 Once A Week Beauty Routine

I simply did not have the energy to get super cute every day. I still don’t to be honest. This tip was the best thing I learned last time around, when I was leaving at 6:30 am to go to school every day and didn’t want to be waking up an earlier than I had to. I started dedicating an hour or two every weekend to basic beauty maintenance and taking care of myself. With a couple of hours of prep work you can look pretty awesome throughout the week, even if you’re exhausted and feeling gross.

I’d start with a long, hot shower. I’d wash my hair, exfoliate, and shave thoroughly (in the summer I’d need to touch up every couple of days, but in the winter once a week is fine #leggings). The steam of the shower opened up my pores and softened dead/dry skin, so once I was out I would use a creamy cleanser and my rotating cleansing brush to really get my face completely deep-clean, because pregnancy acne is no joke. I’d apply self-tanner and belly butter to avoid stretch marks and itchiness. I’d layer my favorite thick moisturizer to my face, and prep my hair with products to protect and prolong my wash & blowout. I would then give my hair a very careful, sectioned blowout. Finally, I’d give myself a mani/pedi, usually while reading fashion magazines or browsing cute maternity outfit blogs.

I tried to make this a time I treasured, rather than a bunch of chores. I listened to my favorite music and got a cold Diet Coke and pretty soon it was almost like a zen spa time for me. If you’re doing all this stuff once a week, you’re never gonna get to the point where you look like a total homeless zombie monster, and it makes your day-to-day look faster and easier.

#9 Try a New Exercise

Chances are you don’t feel much like exercising. Know that feel. I was used to intense Zumba classes, rapid lifting, and reading on the elliptical. Whether because of my energy level, SPD, or exercise limits I was unable to continue my workouts like this. They say to just continue your fitness level but it’s not always possible – or desirable. Sometimes the workouts you used to love suddenly sound miserable. Heck, basically every workout sounds miserable at that point. But about a billion studies suggest that fitness in pregnancy has huge payoffs, and I know that to be true even when my fitness was so weak and lame. I felt better, slept better, gained less, kept up muscle tone, and I have to believe it had something to do with Reese being low, head down, and the ease of my delivery, even if I can’t prove that.

So think outside the box and try to commit to ~some form of exercise, if only for the mental benefits. If you’ve never tried yoga now is the perfect time. Start lifting weights if you can’t run. Meet friends for long walks. Start a new podcast or audiobook with plenty of listening time (I recommend Criminal!) and only listen to it when you are on the elliptical. Play Just Dance in your living room; it’s awesome. Do something. You’ll feel better.

#10 Remind Yourself of the Result

Anytime I’m having a particularly tough day I will go see my best friend’s new baby or pull up pictures of Reese in the hospital or read birth stories. Remembering what you’re doing is critical. Visualization is especially powerful. Picture your tiny baby in your arms! Buy a cute swaddle! Read a pregnancy or birthing book! When times get hard and frustrating, which they will, do whatever will remind you that what you’re doing? It’s incredible and it matters. You are a living, breathing, walking miracle!

Pregnancy is a long time, but it also ends in a pretty amazing way. I can’t predict your pregnancy for you, because we’re all unique. However it is usually expected that you WILL start to feel better in your second trimester. And at the very worst… it’s only 9 months, right? 😉

But for real. Pregnancy is tough. Good luck and treat yo self.