Man I came into 2017 SWINGIN’. After 2016 I just feel ~better and feel more in control, so I’ve been trying to take advantage of that as much as possible. It’s been really nice. The 2017 theme of “Home” has been a really good adjustment, and has lent a lot of clarity to my day-to-day life. It’s meant a lot more reading, too, which is always good.

5 books!!! I’m already ahead on my resolution to read 3 a month! And next month I’ll be doing so much breastfeeding and stationary snuggling that I wouldn’t be surprised if I can read more than 5 books in February too! Nursing new baby Reese is when I really discovered and got into ebooks since she was kind of a lazy sleepy nurser. I’d sit in my rocking chair or propped up on pillows in bed and just browse Pinterest on my phone for hours until I wised up and started downloading ebooks right onto my phone and then WHAM I was slamming books to make Hermione Granger proud. Loved it.

Anyway, I have 2 self-help books (I LOVE THEM), 2 short YA fiction, the book club pick for Bon’s Book Club. Mixed reviews and recommendations, so check it and let me know what you think!

The Chosen One

Kyra is a 14 year old growing up on a polygamous compound. Her mother is one of three wives to her father, and she has twenty siblings. She has a few secrets: she sneaks off to borrow illicit books from the county bookmobile, she meets up with her beloved boyfriend Joshua, and she has some questions about the Prophet and the way things are done. When she is chosen to marry her 60 year old uncle (instead of her young love Joshua), everything speeds up and begins to spin out of control. 

I like to look at polygamy kind of like vampires. Mythical. Not really real. Nothing I need to think about or really give much time to. It’s always been something that has made me intensely uncomfortable and upset, so I just ignore it. I would have NEVER picked up this book and read it had it not been for my book club. That being said I am glad that I did, even though it was heavy and even a little depressing. It is fiction, and not necessarily perfectly researched, but I still learned a lot and it was probably the best way for me to be introduced to the ideas and facts of polygamy. Would I recommend it? Maybe. It would depend on ~who was asking. And I think it’s definitely the kind of book you’d want to read WITH someone so you could talk about it.

Good

• Super fast read. It’s gripping. I started it on a Saturday morning when I was stuck sick in bed. I finished it by about 6 pm that night.
• It’s PG. It handles some serious heavy content, but there’s nothing in it that is inappropriate.
• A lot of the stuff is based in reality, even if it isn’t entirely accurate as a whole. So while I would never (and probably will never) read a nonfiction book about polygamy, I still learned some of the general facts and methods of polygamous cults.
• While it is fiction, I feel it did a good job of showing different sides/situations of polygamy. I’ve always wondered why people would continue to go through with it, or why it spirals to the weirdest situations over time. This kind of allowed me some perspective that I appreciated.
• Kyra basically achieves her awareness through reading, which you know I love. Especially when she talks about reading Harry Potter in secret – it literally made me cry.
• It lead to such good discussion in book club! If you’re looking for a book to read with a group or class – this one gives you so many different things to talk about and discuss!

Less Good

• The writing isn’t anything fancy. In fact, the writing isn’t really very good at all. You are moving so fast that you don’t really have time to stop and be like “Wait, what?” and it was often difficult to even visualize anything because her descriptions are weak.
• The subject matter is HEAVY. I mean. Polygamy? Love? Pedophilia, basically? Abuse? Crime, anger, murder, violence. Greed. Distribution of resources. Sexism and the patriarchy. It tackles A LOT in a book that is really quite short and told from the perspective of a 14 year old. Normally I think it’s great to tackle so many critical issues, but none of them really got fair treatment.
• The subject matter is HEAVY. Like, probably too heavy for a book that is clearly aimed at young adults. As I said above, it’s PG. While they allude to murder and sex, it’s never graphic or specific. The violence is short and glossed over. Honestly the most graphic part is when she describes Kyra getting anxiety and throwing up. That’s kind of the problem though! People are getting beat and murdered and essentially raped but it’s all just so watered down that it feels bizarre.
• The ending is so abrupt and you just kind of want to shout “WHAT? WAIT. WHAT? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? WHAT’S HAPPENING NEXT? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER CHARACTERS? WTFFFFFFFF?!”

The Wide Window

After the tragedy of the Reptile Room, the Baudelaires are in for even more devastation when they go live with their phobic Aunt Josephine in a rickety house overlooking Lake Lachrymose. A familiar figure shows up, disguised as the shady Captain Sham and the kids have to outsmart him (and all the stupid adults) once again. 

This is where you start to get a little tired of the same old story – the kids are polite and brilliant, the adults are eccentric and stupid, and everything goes wrong. Quick read though, and again uniquely educational.

Good

• I actually kind of love the grammar part. I feel like I learned a lot even now. lol
• Similarly you learn a lot about sailboats.
• The descriptions are really good for visuals
• (The two episodes about this book in the Netflix series are really good though!)

Less Good

• Aunt Josephine is just exhausting. Afraid of everything, interrupting everything. I get that she’s supposed to be an obnoxious character but it’s almost too much.
• Things start to get so repetitive in this book.
• Sailing across the lake in a hurricane? Being eaten by carnivorous leeches? k.

The Miserable Mill

After the untimely death of their previous guardian, the Baudelaires travel to the Lucky Smells Lumbermill where they become indentured servants. They are paid only in coupons, served chewing gum for lunch, and sleep in a windowless hall with other miserable workers. They have to crack the mystery of the ominous eye-shaped building and again protect their future against the evil Count Olaf. 

I actually like this one better than Wide Window because there is a bigger, more interesting cast. There’s also more interest and mystery in this plot, despite the same-old predictable Snicket storyline.

Good

• The hypnosis stuff adds a fun new layer of interest
• This isn’t ~technically the book but seeing Neil Patrick Harris AS Count Olaf AS Shirley made it just so much better.
• Klaus being at a disadvantage and forcing Violet to do more on her own added a layer of tension and imbalance which makes this book better and more gripping.

Less Good

• You’re just as tired of hearing it as I am of typing it, but wildly unrealistic and repetitive.

Happier at Home

After her successful Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin tackles another more targeted project – being Happier… but this time at home. Many of her resolutions, personal commandments, and Splendid Truths from The Happiness Project did involve her home and family, but this year-long quest was focused completely on being happier at home, with her family and day-to-day life. She is able to expand on many good habits, explore new areas and ideas, and finds ways to increase her happiness at home.

I LOVE Gretchen Rubin. If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time you already know this. I feel so connected with her in so many ways (except being an underbuyer. LOL). The Happiness Project was my first introduction to her work, then I DEVOURED Better than Before which is a MUST. READ. I’ve been listening to her podcast for months as well and loved it. When I made my word of 2017 “Home” I knew it was time to tackle her Happier at Home, even though I had read a review that said it was the same as The Happiness Project. So so glad that I did. Definite recommendation.

Good

• Gretchen has this way of making things so realistic. She talks about chores and errands and spousal interactions that feel like she was watching a day in your life. Yeah she’s a writer in NYC, but she’s also a working mom who just wants to take advantage of a normal life. I love that.
• Maybe it’s where I’m at in life, or that I listened to this on audiobook, or that this one is just better, but I thought this was a much more useful and interesting book than The Happiness Project. She spends less time setting things up and tracking everything, which makes it faster and easier, I think.
• A lot of this built on the truths of Life Changing Magic which I read and, ahem, changed my life last September – get rid of crap, keep what you love, and display it! I’ve been reworking a lot of spaces in our home to prepare for baby girl and making a shrine is the funnest!
• The marriage stuff was so helpful to me! The Beard and I aren’t particularly affectionate, physical people. We never have been. But her “kiss in the morning, kiss at night” resolution really got me thinking about how rarely we do show physical affection and how it could be unknowingly harming or at least setting back our relationship from positive interactions. I haven’t quite made a chart that tracks how often I kiss my husband, but it was something eye-opening (mouth opening lol sorry) that I want to think more about.
• Along with the “kiss in the morning, kiss at night” she talks about making the positive argument. This applies to a lot of things, but especially marriage. I’m so bad at “He NEVER picks up his shoes. He ALWAYS forgets to take the trash out.” But instead it was the idea that we need to make the positive argument too, because usually we get such tunnel vision and confirmation bias in that argument that benefits us. Instead I have tried to say things like “He DOES do the dishes often.” and “No… he doesn’t ALWAYS ignore my chatter.” Because then you start to see their side, walk in their shoes, remember that you’re actually on the same team. It’s already making a difference in the way I think about him and the way we interact.
• I love the holiday breakfasts! I want to be that mom!!!!!
• Tackle a nagging task is one that has really helped me lately. I’m so big and tired and pregnant. So basically everything is a nagging task that I don’t want to tackle. But she’s right – you always feel better.
• Essentially her finding is that you can’t do what everyone else is doing. You can’t force other people to do anything either. Everyone needs to do their own thing, find their own happiness. Not everything needs to be 100%. Not everything makes you ~feel happier, at least not right away. Happiness is unique and hard to define, but definitely worth the pursuit.

Less Good

• I think her work is prime for listening. You can read it, but it can get a little repetitive or tedious. I think that’s why I cooled on the Happiness Project. Instead, listening to it is like sitting down with your really cool, together friend who is telling you about her life and how she crushes it.
• The “baby” voices of her daughters were creepy. Maybe that was just me.
• A few of my friends have mentioned that they find her work to be kind of over the top or that she’s just “too much” and I realized that a lot of why I love her work is because our personalities align. It really can be confusing and pointless and intimidating for more Type B, laid back, or rebellious types.

Sink Reflections

Marla Cilley is known as the Flylady and she spends this book helping you figure out your cluttered, messy, disorganized home. Her systems and methods are for anyone and everyone – from the most disorganized SAHM, to the working mom with no time, to the mom who has it mostly together but needs a little more help. She tackles ways for you to finally kick those “Hot Spots” that attract all your clutter, keep your home ready for guests and hosting, and take better care of yourself. 

My friend Jessica recommended this book and warned me that she was “quirky” and that’s honestly the best word for it. She’s like that kinda weird lady in your home ward’s Relief Society that crushes mom & home life and is SO NICE but is just weird and goofy. That isn’t to say that she isn’t totally qualified and helpful in writing this book. This doesn’t top the list of “getting your home life/organization together” books, but it’s definitely a good one if you’re on a quest like I am.

Good

• The reason the book is called “Sink Reflections” is that she has you start with just ONE tiny step – cleaning out and shining your sink every night before bed. It’s a super easy step that actually does make a big difference. Just like clutter and mess is contagious – so is cleanliness! When your sink is clean and shiny, you (and your family) are more likely to put dishes in the dishwasher, rinse and clean things right away, and put things where they go.
• “Dress to the Shoes” is honestly such good advice. I’m not ~taking it all the time, because I *am* 9 months pregnant. But basically she says when you get up – get dressed. All the way to your shoes! Lounging in pajamas, wearing sweats, running around in slippers or barefoot… it sets a tone that you aren’t ready for the day and you’re less effective. I like this a lot.
• The most useful bit of information for me is to create routines for morning and night. Every night before bed have a short list of quick things you do to make morning easier. I realized that coming downstairs to a mess kind of ruins my day right out of the gate, so I’ve started tidying up just for a few minutes every night before we head upstairs. My night routine looks like this:
  • Unload/Reload the dishwasher & start it
  • Clean off kitchen & dining counters
  • Tidy living room – put away Reese’s toys, fluff pillows, etc.
  • Have The Beard take out the trash
  • Get Reese ready for bed
  • Lay out mine & Reese’s outfits
  • Wash my face, moisturize, nightly beauty routine blah blah
  • Update tomorrow’s schedule & to do list.
• The Pomodoro Method! There’s a reason it keeps coming up – it works. Set a timer and tackle a task until the timer beeps and then be DONE. When you say “Ok I’m gonna do this for 20 minutes MAX” it’s so much easier and more manageable.
• She also helps you figure out how to create daily/weekly cleaning schedules, which is something I’ve tried to do a little in the past but never fully figured out. Now isn’t really the time for me to implement a specific schedule, obviously, but I loved the concept. She breaks your home down into Zones, which you then tackle as needed. For example you may have your kitchen zone and a list of things to do in it – declutter, reorganize, basic cleaning, deep cleaning, updating, other projects. Then when it’s the week (or day) for the kitchen zone you just begin tackling whatever you can on your list.
• “Hot Spots” are those areas of your home that gather clutter. Ours are the counter with my KitchenAid and cookbooks and our kitchen table. They become drop zones, and she talks about how to stop them from becoming the most magnetic clutter areas. I’m still very slowly working on this, but I got a fabric storage box for all my planning stuff that will fit in my kitchen bookshelf and I’m much more likely to tidy it all up now that it has a spot!

Less Good

• She has a distinct philosophy and it’s kind of goofy and religious. A little cheesy. But easy to get past.
• The testimonials were a bit much for me, to be honest.
• There’s a very cheerleader vibe that I guess might be motivating to others but I was like “just tell me how your plan works!!!”
• It’s dated. It could definitely use some updating, graphic design, and streamlining.