Oh, October you always go too fast. I just love October so much. The feeling I had for a lot of October was this low key guilty pleasure. I felt guilty doing this new thing where I just CHILL TF OUT about events and seasonal to-dos and maximizing every second of my day. We’ve only been to one pumpkin patch GASP!!!!!!! Last year’s Danica was packing in caramel apples and throwing parties and hosting my bday giveaway and delivering pumpkin treats to friends and just being so freaking extra every second of the day. But this year I’ve just chilled. I feel guilty about it, but also very satisfied. Hence the paradoxical guilty pleasure.

And now we turn the corner into November, which is kind of a big foggy blank blur to me. We have very little scheduled or planned, but a lot of things to do. I have some clear handles to grab, which is always such a relief. October was such a good month and I’m steering straight into November feeling ~ready.

Good

• Turning 28 was awesome. We had lots of celebrating with friends and family, lots of popcorn, and seriously the kind texts and shoutouts and posts from people every year always warm my heart so much. Birthdays matter, and mine totally filled my love tank.
• I had 4 different kidless dates with my husband. I always thought our dates would have to decrease once we had 2 kids, so we made it a 2017 goal to take one a month. It’s had this reverse effect where we need it so bad and have such a great time that we put forth the effort to do it more. It makes me a better wife, mom, and person.
• My house has been a whole lot cleaner on average lately, thanks to this new chill out Danica scaling down our plans and activities.
• HALLOWEEN. Halloween with kids is incredible. We had 4 different costumes on the docket lol no matter how hard I try to chill I will always be extra for Halloween. One day I’d like to be one of those families who gets crazy into Halloween every year.
• Pumpkin painting > carving. I hate carving pumpkins, so I was STOKED when my cousins gave us a Darth Vader pumpkin painting kit. #blessed
• I got a pressure cooker for my bday so catch me pinning all the recipes for awesome recipes!!!!!
• I finally saw a doctor (after being sick for 6 weeks) and got my meds adjusted *again* and got some antibiotics and I’m definitely feeling on the mend. PLZZZZZZ.
• I totally revitalized my makeup loves. I cleared out a lot of stuff I wasn’t using, made a few good purchases with bday gift cards and freebies at Sephora, and watched some youtube tutorials.
• Church has completely jumped up for me. It’s still hard to keep Reese entertained and we finally caved to the iPad during Sacrament Meeting (which I really really didn’t want to have to do) and you know what? The world kept spinning. A super cool mother of six reassured me about it and I couldn’t deny the calm and spirit I was able to feel when I wasn’t chasing Reese onto the stand. Making friends in the ward, committing to being there on time and staying the whole time, preparing for the lessons beforehand… I’m just living for it.

Bad

• I was literally sick every day of October. Lots of sleepless nights, headaches, lethargic days, cancelling plans, shouting curses into the sky…
• I have been dealing with a lot of mom guilt. “Did I read to Reese today? I need to be more patient with her. Why can’t she keep her clothes on? It’s my fault she literally cannot sit still for a 30 second prayer. You being sick kept her from her school carnival and a million other good things this month. Why can’t you just focus more time and attention on her?” It’s been hard, especially when some days I KNOW I absolutely did my best. And hard on days when I know I should have done better. But I ended the month by starting with a zero-sum planning session (maybe I’ll blog about this, because it was helpful) that focused on getting my girls what they need FIRST. Hopefully that helps.
• I quit 2 books so early on this month, and didn’t finish one before the checkout period and now I’m back to #32 in the holds list lol. Only finished 2 books. 🙁 I need to make more time for reading because it always makes me feel better.
• I worked out twice this month. Once lifting and once to my bestie’s HIGH class and coughed the whole way through it. I feel lazy and fat and so out of shape and guilty, but also tried to rest so I could get feeling better (and it wasn’t really working). It was SO FRUSTRATING. I’m looking forward to getting back to normal, as if I even remember what that is lol.

On My Brain

• Reese’s personality. I’m realizing more and more, especially when we’re around other toddlers, that Reese is stubborn, independent, and often defiant. And not just in a typical toddler way. In a CHRISTOPHER RYAN HOLDAWAY TYPA WAY. Anyway I’ve been spending some time talking to my mom friends I love and respect about how to parent strong-willed children without breaking their little spirits or letting them run the roost. One friend recommended The Child Whisperer so it’s on it’s way, thanks Amazon  Prime!!! Hit me with other parenting resources you love.
• My next project – a killer women’s workshop series. I’m working with a friend to create a Super Saturday/Women’s Conference/Education Week/Alison Show Dance Party hybrid. We have a really cool vision for this and we’re taking concrete steps to create it, and it feels really cool.
• You guys have probably picked up that I’m not the biggest fan of MLMs. After reading a lot of things in the past couple of months (here’s the latest making me angry) (and even in #ldsconf!) I’ve gone back and forth about writing an MLM post explaining my stance and sharing my list of resources, but I also do NOT want to hurt feelings or offend or ruin things for people but I also do NOT want people I know wasting money and being exploited by MLMs. I am still going back and forth.
• I had this super fun idea about a Holiday Planning Webinar. I’m not sure I’ll be able to pull it off, which bums me out. So I’m trying to figure out a way to do a more accessible, easier version, or finding a way to make it happen.
• I’m pretty bummed about the change to General Conference tbh!!! I counted on hearing from at least 3 amazing women speakers with specialized messaged every 6 months. I hope this means we’ll hear from more women in the general sessions, but I’m a little sad that a women-specific meeting is now only once a year.
• My friend Hannah posted the cutest video of her son freaking out over Christmas decorations in Costco that went viral and though it’s barely Halloween today it got my HYPED AF for Christmas!!!!! 54 days will go by fast!!!

Thanks, October. You really were an incredible birthday month. I’m not sure what November holds for us but I’m excited to meet it with a healthy respiratory system that’s for d*ng sure.