I told my body to hit screwballs and round those bases tight.
I told my body to stay up late and wake up early.
I told my body we needed to look really good in that white dress.
I told my body to stand 8 hours a day, pacing down rows of desks.
I told my body to get pregnant, and she did.
I told my body to cushion that baby.
I told my body to bring her safely from our womb to our arms. And she did. Twice.
Twice I told her to produce milk to feed my babies, ready at their call.
I told my body good job.
And then I stuffed her into a girdle.
I told my body to run again, to kick a soccer ball again, to spin to salsa jams again.
I told my body we weren’t losing the weight fast enough.
I told my body that our cold had gone on quite long enough, and that I was going to move on with her consent or not.
I told my body to sleep better with a blue pill, washed down with Diet Coke.
I told my body to stop hijacking my life with hormones and anxiety.
And today I cried and told my body sorry.
Because my body was just trying to help. Just trying to communicate. Just trying to do all I had told her to do. Just trying to protect me from all I had told her to do.
Today I told my body sorry.
I told her how proud I was of all she’d done.
I told her how lucky I knew I was for those two pregnancies she gave me.
I told her I loved that we could still play soccer after all these years.
I told her I would take better care of her this year.
I told her she could take time to be sick, take time to sleep, take time to be sore, take time to heal.
I told her I would feed her better foods and give her more water.
I told her I would listen.
I told her I would ask if we could do things, before jumping in to do them.
I told her I would respect it if her answer was no.
I told her I wouldn’t talk over her quiet voice of pains and aches and anxiety and illness.
I told her we look great in that new dress and that IDGAF what number is on that label.
I told her I am so sorry and I told her things will change.
I told her 2018 will be much gentler on her.
And I thanked her for being so gentle with me.
I told my body I loved her, and she loved me right back.