I Told My Body

I told my body to hit screwballs and round those bases tight.

I told my body to stay up late and wake up early.

I told my body we needed to look really good in that white dress.

I told my body to stand 8 hours a day, pacing down rows of desks.

I told my body to get pregnant, and she did.

I told my body to cushion that baby.

I told my body to bring her safely from our womb to our arms. And she did. Twice.

Twice I told her to produce milk to feed my babies, ready at their call.

I told my body good job.

And then I stuffed her into a girdle.

I told my body to run again, to kick a soccer ball again, to spin to salsa jams again.

I told my body we weren’t losing the weight fast enough.

I told my body that our cold had gone on quite long enough, and that I was going to move on with her consent or not.

I told my body to sleep better with a blue pill, washed down with Diet Coke.

I told my body to stop hijacking my life with hormones and anxiety.

 

 

 

And today I cried and told my body sorry.

Because my body was just trying to help. Just trying to communicate. Just trying to do all I had told her to do. Just trying to protect me from all I had told her to do.

Today I told my body sorry.

I told her how proud I was of all she’d done.

I told her how lucky I knew I was for those two pregnancies she gave me.

I told her I loved that we could still play soccer after all these years.

I told her I would take better care of her this year.

I told her she could take time to be sick, take time to sleep, take time to be sore, take time to heal.

I told her I would feed her better foods and give her more water.

I told her I would listen.

I told her I would ask if we could do things, before jumping in to do them.

I told her I would respect it if her answer was no.

I told her I wouldn’t talk over her quiet voice of pains and aches and anxiety and illness.

I told her we look great in that new dress and that IDGAF what number is on that label.

I told her I am so sorry and I told her things will change.

I told her 2018 will be much gentler on her.

And I thanked her for being so gentle with me.

I told my body I loved her, and she loved me right back.

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One thought on “I Told My Body”

  • 2 weeks ago

    So I basically just purged and read your past 5 blog posts and they were all so so good!!! I love your GBOMBs so much, I really need to start journaling something like that – it’s so great! This body post was everything I needed too – I’m not in college anymore and I keep hating on my new body for not being what it was, but in so many ways it’s so much better than my college body ever was!! Your word for 2018 is so perfect too – you are killing it! I love reading your blog Danica – it’s so real, hilarious, encouraging, entertaining and fun! Thanks!

    P.S. I wish I could play in that soccer league with you but those late night games kill me! 🙁 When we sign up for a Spanish Fork/Salem league again you should totally come play!!! It’s so much fun!

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