Our junior high has a pretty cool setup. A circle of 5 classrooms and a small conference room – called a pod – is off the main hall. So no lockers, gyms or bathrooms are outside my door. In between “pods” is a teacher break room with copiers, a lunch table, work desks, storage, fridges, microwaves and a bathroom. A teacher-only bathroom.

Unfortunately, for some strange, undefined reason, our faculty bathroom door is broken. The nearest faculty bathroom is upstairs or on the other end of the school. This means unless we want a hike or walk, we are using the STUDENT RESTROOMS. Honestly I’m just trying to hold it as long as possible or go when I have a chance to walk the distance to another faculty restroom, because junior high restrooms are the worst. And I’ve only been in the girls’, mind you.

Over the past 3 days I’ve had to use the student restrooms a number of times, as have my teacher friends. I thought you guys might be interested in hearing what we’re eavesdropping while in those junior high restrooms.

“… So then my mom said that HER boyfriend is allowed to sleep over, but mine is NEVER allowed to sleep over. How unfair is THAT?!”

*humming* “I got the… eye… of the tiger! blah blah… dancing to the… fire…” *walks out of the restroom to see me washing my hands* *dies*

“Wait. Wait. You use tampons? My mom said you can’t use them until you’re 16!”

“If Mrs. _____ makes us do one more practice test I’m gonna freak out. Seriously.” (overheard by said Mrs. ______ as she walks out of a stall to terrified faces)

*Science teacher washes her hands and walks out* “I thought it was against the law for them to share our bathrooms.” #segregation #separatebutequal

“hahaha Jenna dropped her phone in this toilet last week hahahahaha”

“Is it ok to snapchat from the bathroom? Like is that weird to do?”

“She’s such a slut. She let him touch her boobs I know it.” “Like… with her shirt on?” “I don’t know. Probably.”

PLEASE LORD LET THEM FIX OUR BATHROOM TODAY. I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER.

Although walking out of a stall for them to realize they’ve been having this conversation in earshot of teacher is pretty fantastic.