Secure 2018 was spot on. SPOT ON. I needed security. I wanted security. Secure set up foundations on which I’ll rely for the rest of my life. The changes I made were monumental, eternal. I worked HARD. I will always look back and thank 2018 Danica for all she’s done this year.

Because I’ll need to access and trust that foundation this year.

BUILD 2019

It was much harder to land on a word this year than it’s ever been. The vibe of what I’m supposed to do and be this year is clear, but finding the ~word for it wasn’t. It does, however, make perfect sense in relation to the last few words.

Home was a noun. I needed concrete terms and goals.

Secure was an adjective. I needed feelings, descriptions for the life I wanted.

Build is a verb. This is a year for doing. It’s more outward and involving others.

The strongest thing I felt was that this was a year for focusing on HOW I interact with others, and making sure I’m helping them be better, feel better. I thought about the words “better” and “influence” and “impact.”

But then I was thinking about how excited I am to study the New Testament with Come, Follow Me and how I’ve handled tough situations by thinking about the Savior and His response.

I also thought about my little family and how I want it to develop and progress.

We discussed financial goals and our future with work and side hustles and creative projects.

I thought about my body and my long-term health.

I tried to visualize what I want for my reputation in my home, my neighborhood, my ward, online.

And then I read 3 Nephi 11:39 and it was clear that my word was BUILD.

Building up others.

Building stronger, bigger, more beautiful relationships.

Building on the rock of our Redeemer.

Building a home of order, peace, and comfort.

Building a wardrobe and style that makes me feel 100 emoji.

Building a love of the Gospel in my family.

Building wealth.

Building an online presence that is helpful, happy, and controlled.

Building a relationship with the temple and my family on the other side.

Building that eternal family tree in both directions.

Building routines that work for me and my family.

Building healthy habits with long-term health in mind.

Because when you build, you don’t throw up walls and swipe around paint willy-nilly. You don’t say “We’ll figure it out as we go along” or “I’m sure this is close enough.” You start with a plan, a vision. You go slow and put in the work. You get help from the right people for the task you’re facing. You pay attention to details. You keep the end product always in mind. You celebrate progress and try to see what it will become.

I’m not the architect, though. Hell, I’m not even the foreman. I’m just a laborer trying to follow directions and not screw it up too badly. This is the part I’m not as excited and most worried about. But it’s a critical feature of BUILD 2019.

I read it in C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

And I read it in 1 Nephi 18:2

“Neither did I build the ship after the manner of men, but I did build it after the manner which the Lord had shown unto me.”

What I am building has the potential to be a magnificent palace, if I can only let go of the very cute lil cottage I think is best for me. A palace is much more work. More sweat and tears and discomfort. It costs more.

But I spent 2018 making the ground stable, digging out the anxiety and problems and shortcomings in my basement, slowly pouring the permanent foundations of testimony and therapy and intuitive eating and boundaries. It wasn’t just to fill the time or smooth an eyesore. It was to prepare me for a work to come.

So it is time to build. It is time to do. As much as I want to chill in a cute lil cottage on my finally stable piece of property… I owe Him more than that. He stopped the earthquakes so I could build something incredible for me and so many others. He gave me all the tools I need, but He intended for me to use them, not to rust in the toolbox. He didn’t give me a full range of tools so I could just go around using only the hammer to smash nails, even though that’s fun and easy. I have to learn to work the sander, skin my knuckles twisting an Allen wrench, haul around a clunky ladder.

I guess this means 2019 is the year I should finally cave and get a pair of overalls.

It’s easy to trust though, because I saw what He helped me do with that broken, shuddering, dismal patch of land. I can’t wait to see what we’ll be able to do together on it. I’m so excited to get started.

Scripture References I used in my BUILD study:

• 1 Nephi 18:2
• D&C 101:101
• 3 Nephi 11:39
• Helaman 5:12
• Proverbs 14:1
• Proverbs 24:3
• Ecclesiastes 3:3
• Jeremiah 1:10
• Jeremiah 24:6
• Colossians 2:6-7