I’ve heard that some years ask questions and some years answer. I kind of knew that 2019 would be a messy year. Maybe messy isn’t the right word? I knew that Home 2017 and Secure 2018 were more restful, focused years that were about answers. Likewise I knew that Build 2019 would be a more active year. I would be required to do more, walk through more, learn more. It would be a year of getting my hands dirty. It would be a year that raised questions and showed weaknesses and got me out there, in the real world, vulnerable and trying my hardest.

2020 needs to split the difference. 2020 needs me to take everything I’ve learned this year about honesty, vulnerability, trying scary things, communicating, and forgiveness and continue living big and brave. But 2020 needs me to narrow down my focus, conserve and direct my energy, and to be more mindful, aware. 2020 is telling me that I’ve done a lot of work in the last few years, and now it’s time to enjoy it. Now it’s time to stretch out in the space I’ve made.

FRUIT 2020

Ok hear me out. Fruit sounds… weird. Am I opening a smoothie shop? Auditioning to be a Fanta girl? Getting super into juicing? No. It’s more about clarifying the particular type of season I’m in. A harvest season.

We cycle through different seasons, and honestly I don’t think they always have to be consecutive and predictably cyclical. Spring is a time of prep and planting and starting. Summer is weeding and tending and heat and hard work and growth and dirt under your fingernails. Harvest is reaping what you’ve sown and gathering it in, sharing and savoring and preserving it. Winter is rest and restoring and preparing.

The last few years have been very “summer.” Lots of work. Lots of tending. We’ve grown our family and built a house and helped create culture in new wards and done tons of interesting work and learned SO MUCH. Now I am being urged to reap and enjoy the harvest.

I need to finish out the growth that I’ve started. Stop window shopping for seeds and plots of land and micromanaging early-stage plants. How is my fruit growing? Am I growing the right fruit?

I need to pay attention to the fruit I have grown. I need to sort and find the very best fruit and truly enjoy it. I need to take deep bites and let the juice run down my chin. I need to share it with those I love, to can and preserve it for winter seasons to come. I need to stop choking down unripe, unsatisfactory fruit just because it’s low-hanging or someone picked it for me.

I need to actually pick the fruit. I’ve spent so much time growing it. I can’t let it get overripe and ridden with worms because I’m too busy trying to help in someone else’s vineyard or wondering why that tree in the corner isn’t producing.

I’ve got these two little beautiful sassy trees with so much delicious and interesting fruit, and another just ready to bloom and ripen with unknown fruit to discover. They deserve my attention. There’s no need to walk other potential, future fields for planting – at least right now.

I’ve put my blood, sweat, and tears into this vineyard of mine. What a shame it would be to miss it’s moment of glory. That means stepping away from trees that aren’t producing fruit, or producing fruit that’s bitter and disappointing. It means creating a smaller, more compact, more juicy lil field. It means not giving a s*** about other people’s fields or fruit.

The scriptures are packed with metaphors involving fruit and fields and growing, and they all just resonate right now. 2020 is for paying attention to the fruits of the spirit. It’s for seeking the fruit of the tree of life. It’s for bringing forth fruits meet for repentance. It’s about laboring in the vineyard.

Harvest isn’t just a giant feast. It’s picking and finishing. Sorting. Evaluating. Weighing. Focusing. Preparing and preserving. Then it’s taking the time to enjoy it. To be proud. To be satisfied. To produce enough to bless others. To be a good steward of the vineyard I’ve been given.

I can’t wait to savor every bite.