Groups

The other day someone said something like “Well, yeah, Facebook is worthless. I ignore all the events… and who even uses Groups?”

… me. I use them.

I am in no fewer than 7 REAL groups (4 which I created lol) and I actively use all of them.

AND not a single one of them is for an MLM, so.

It got me thinking. I am a groups kind of girl. (Obviously.)

Each of the groups I have started have been to fill a need or to feel supported or to have more fun. I am definitely a very independent person who needs plenty of time to herself and to feel like I can do things on my own, but I also know that I am much more motivated to do things when I’ve got a team. Things are more fun. Things are easier. Things are just better.

Especially as a mom I’ve found that things can get lonely and weird in a hurry if you don’t have a group. Your husband doesn’t count. And I don’t mean “HE DOESN’T COUNT” I mean he just doesn’t count. I’m sorry if this is #uncool or #unwoke, but men and women are just different, and husbands and wives have different roles. Ryan is an incredible dad but I can’t talk to him about that nursing article I read. I mean, I can, but neither of us want that. He will listen and offer feedback when I talk to him about napping schedules or troubling thoughts about Reese’s development (I’m paranoid at her current pronunciation of the word “Shrek” HINT it’s the f-word), but he’ll just never ~get it quite like one of my mommy girlfriends.

Finding a group that appreciates something you appreciate makes you all appreciate it a heck of a lot more. Bachelor was the dumbest thing on planet earth to me for YEARS. Add in a group of girls I love and WHAM it is now my favorite hobby. Yeah I’m calling it a hobby don’t @ me. Harry Potter Book Club has evolved into this incredible thing that is supportive and fun and ~home for me – and for other people too. I’m very proud of it.

I recently put together a little playgroup with a few other moms of toddlers, because we all need to get out of the house, but often field trips can be intimidating and a lot of work and potentially not worth it. Add in a group? There’s other kids to play with yours, someone else can suggest or decide the activity, and another mom to talk to and keep you sane. All it takes is a tiny bit of administration and VOILA there’s a group to make your life more fun and easy.

I also do this outside the realm of Facebook dot com. I do this thing where I assume or attribute group identity. If you’ve met me, I’ve probably told you about my two best friends, their kids, my SIL bestie, my mom, my MIL, my nieces, and 3-4 of my other close friends. I AM my group. I do the same to you. If we are friends, I also adopt all of your friends and acquaintances as my own. If they like you and I like you, then we automatically like each other and are now friends. It’s math.

I also do this thing where I want all of my friends and family to be friends and family with all my friends and family. Read that a few times if you need to; I understand it’s confusing. I once invited/forced my in laws to come to my family’s Thanksgiving and loved every second of it. I feel like I blind group date my friends all the time – bringing along a friend to meet another one of my friends because I think they’ll get along, or adding a friend to an existing group or party so they can become a part of it.

I don’t know why I do this. I don’t know why I am this way. I know it’s something I need to be more sensitive and considerate about, because not everyone wants to be forced into new friendships. Not everyone likes me showing up with a friend in tow to everything. Not everyone wants to be associated with me. I’m a nightmare.

So I’m working on it. But I also will not quit grouping. Because grouping is something that has rewarded me (and others, I flatter myself), time and time again. I really think this is something that I’ve been given to help improve my life and help others. It’s just gonna take some time until I’m able to do it with more consideration and grace.

I really have so many incredible people and things in my life – it feels hard not to share and connect them all! So thank you for being in my group. And sorry if I’ve ever been a terrorist and added you to an IRL or Facebook group without your express consent. At least it wasn’t for an MLM though, am I right?

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